@Eden_Eats Lately I've been ordering stuff online just to give me a will to live for 4-7 business days. Retweet Favorite Apr 28 2020

@Eden_Eats Nothing makes me more drunk with millennial power than helping boomers turn off the flashlight on their phone. Retweet Favorite Nov 26 2019

@Eden_Eats I hate it when baby boomers are like "your generation is too sensitive!". Like ok, Gail, I'm not the one writing 8 paragraph Yelp reviews because the restaurant was painted a color you didn't like. Retweet Favorite Dec 16 2018

@Eden_Eats My neighbors are so friendly that I'm sitting in my car waiting for them to go inside so I don't have to talk to them. Retweet Favorite Dec 14 2018

@Eden_Eats I am rubber, you are glue, that guy is ketchup, this is a terrible Halloween party. Retweet Favorite Oct 18 2017

@Eden_Eats My boyfriend called me gross for eating in bed but I was like: "I'm not gross and you're just a pic of Ryan Gosling taped to a broom!". Retweet Favorite Mar 21 2017

@Eden_Eats It's cool we live in a time where we can just type "lol" or "haha" without actually having to laugh or have feelings. Retweet Favorite Dec 20 2016