@RexHuppke I just said out loud, "Oh my, I think Nazis are bad" and a Trump supporter jumped out of the bushes and called me a violent radical leftist.
Retweet Favorite Aug 14 2017
@rad_milk [a foreigner gets off a long call in a language i don't understand in an uber pool] ME: (whispering to them) hey what did you say
Retweet Favorite Aug 10 2017
@DurtMcHurtt [after a rap battle] hey how did you know all that stuff about my mom?
Retweet Favorite Aug 9 2017
@bobvulfov (whispering to my tv remote after i put new batteries in it) as soon as somethin else in the house needs batteries im gona take these from u
Retweet Favorite Aug 9 2017
@envydatropic *Adds brown food coloring to hot water* Me serving decaf
Retweet Favorite Aug 9 2017
@bessbell The difference between men and woman is men produce sperm and women produce humans and men claim half the credit.
Retweet Favorite Aug 9 2017
@missmayn I would pay $1,000 to watch Trump attempt to run one mile.
Retweet Favorite Aug 8 2017
@eedrk (to guy walking up the trail) dont worry there's an elevator up top haha (4 secs later in earshot of first guy) dont worry there's an eleva
Retweet Favorite Aug 8 2017
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