@Bob_Janke A fun prank would be to loosen the top on a salt shaker and when your friend tries to put salt on his food, hit him in the face with a stool
Retweet Favorite Apr 25 2017
@Mr_Kapowski I t.hink I. mig.ht hav.e ina.dverte.ntly tak.en one .of my wif.e's bir.th c.ontrol pi.lls beca.use m.y perio.ds a.re irr.egu.lar
Retweet Favorite Apr 25 2017
@LoveNLunchmeat So many women brag about finding chips in their cleavage... But if you really want to impress a man, you pull out a meatloaf.
Retweet Favorite Apr 25 2017
@figgled yes, we are a highly diverse company. susan in accounts is a goth
Retweet Favorite Apr 25 2017
@MartaEffing Wow, I love this exfoliating cloth. Ma'am, that's a quesadilla.
Retweet Favorite Apr 25 2017
@Ideal_Victoria I keep a framed photo of glazed donuts on my office desk in case clients want to see my loved ones.
Retweet Favorite Apr 24 2017
@WheelTod Make your own bacon by tricking a pig into running headlong through a harp.
Retweet Favorite Apr 24 2017
@SortaBad Yeah girl I'm into BDSM, Bible Dialogue on Social Media
Retweet Favorite Apr 24 2017
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