@hipsterocracy When I start to panic about the Trump presidency I remember that we are on a rock floating around a fireball and I panic about that instead.
Retweet Favorite Jan 20 2017
@MaraWilson Whisper "whey protein" into a mirror three times if you want a straight white man to come out of it and talk at you
Retweet Favorite Jan 20 2017
@cushbomb Hmm. Every fortune cookie I've opened in the past six months says "you will die screaming." Weird.
Retweet Favorite Jan 20 2017
@joshtpm In many ways Trump presidency is like one of your stupider Adam Sandler movies. Basically stupid, but sometimes funny. Ridiculous premise.
Retweet Favorite Jan 18 2017
@ShittyRambo Contrary to popular belief, the most common use for electrical tape is to cover up goth nipples.
Retweet Favorite Jan 18 2017
@1followernodad It's not believable when Billy Bob Thornton isn't an alcoholic in a movie.
Retweet Favorite Jan 17 2017
@xLiserx *Opens a window and the wind blows 84 hamburger wrappers from my desk.* "Oh no! My research!!"
Retweet Favorite Jan 14 2017
@Ygrene Do you think when the Hamburglar robs people he holds them at bun point?
Retweet Favorite Jan 14 2017
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