@SteveKoehler22 Sorry I missed your text from a couple of days ago. Are you still stranded on the road with your car upside down in a ditch ?
Retweet Favorite May 23 2017
@adult_mom Adulthood was invented in 1412 when Peter J Adult realized that his whole body hurt but he still had to be alive for awhile
Retweet Favorite May 23 2017
@TheAlexNevil It's amazing how a simple act of kindness can change my bad mood into a suspicious bad mood.
Retweet Favorite May 23 2017
@InternetHippo A bathtub is one of those things you can’t buy online, you have to go to the store and cry in a few different ones to see how they feel
Retweet Favorite May 23 2017
@InternetHippo I don’t care if this is controversial or if it offends people, just something I have to say…terrorism is bad
Retweet Favorite May 23 2017
@Home_Halfway Did you hear about the southern lady who changed her name? She yelled "I do de-Claire!" Jokes are fun. Anyway, our existence poisons earth
Retweet Favorite May 23 2017
@aedison Obviously Bowser is a despot, but do not forget that Mario's idea of "order" is human dominion over Toads, Yoshis, etc.
Retweet Favorite May 23 2017
@underchilde After 63 unanswered texts, I can take a hint.
Retweet Favorite May 22 2017
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